Why Every Woman Should Write Her Own Rules

why every woman should write her own rules

By: Caroline Vazzana

Do you ever feel like someone else is trying to control your life’s timeline? Your choices? Your decisions? Your opinion? In the world we live in, surrounded by highlight reels on social media, it can sometimes feel as though we are not in control of our own lives. But then who is? Society, our peers, our parents? It can often feel as though we are making decisions for other people, to make them happy. When in reality true happiness comes from self-acceptance and when we are in control of our own destinies.

Today, SK-II launched a new campaign called “Timelines” hosted by Katie Couric, featuring four different women from all over the world, New York, Tokyo, Shanghai, and Seoul. The series follows these women and highlights how they are challenging conventional societal norms and creating their own timelines. Our destiny is not set at birth, even though it sometimes may feel as such. From a young age it is ingrained in us that if we go to school and work hard we’ll then go to college. From there, you’ll then land a job, meet someone to eventually marry, and from there start a family. But that traditional timeline has changed because our generation wants more out of life. Travel, career, adventure, a sense of fulfillment- a life that is not dependent on pleasing others.

In the “Timelines” video, one woman named Maluca who is based in New York, felt pressured by this old idea of the “American Dream.” But, that has not derailed her focus, which is on her career and chasing her dreams. The idea of being on tour and traveling with her kids by her side, and if a man happens to fit into the equation that’s great, but it does not determine her worth, her success, or define her.

When I first graduated from college the idea was to get a job, one that would pay the bills, and hopefully with enough time and effort I could work my way up. At the time, almost five years ago, the thought of a 21-year-old fresh out of college becoming her own boss, and building her own name and brand was absolutely unheard of. At least at the companies I worked for. As a 21-year-old right out of college, you’re most likely the assistant. You sit there and smile, say yes, get coffee and do as you're asked. Now, it wasn't all-bad of course, but my ideas were often not always heard, not appreciated, or when they were heard they were then put in motion by a more senior team member. The reason? I was told I had to "wait my turn" "put in more time" "work my way up" or more famously said I was told I had to "pay my dues." Now don’t get me wrong, I completely understand and respect that, and do believe that I had a lot to learn and a long way to come. But, creativity has no age limit, so why should I have to wait to have my voice heard until I’m older? With that thought in mind, I created “Making it in Manhattan”, a platform where I could be real, raw, and share things I had to work through, things I personally dealt with.

Now that I’ve reached my mid-twenties, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over five years and we are fully committed to one another. With that being said though, we definitely feel societal pressures to settle down and get married. I’m by no means saying we will never get married, but at the same time marriage does not define our relationship or commitment to one another. We’ve decided to create our own timeline and write a life that we feel works for us.

I’m so inspired by these women who are drawing their own timelines because I know how scary that can be. To leave a full-time stable job at a major glossy publication, to go against societal norms, or what might be expected from you to try and make it on my own- to make your own rules- people thought I was crazy. But just like these women I wanted to accomplish my goals and do things without an age limit. Because there should be no gap between your dreams and what is expected of you. Now is the time to take control, and to write your own rules. So, are you ready to #ChangeDestiny?

Watch below for SK-II’s full “Timelines” video and let us know how you are writing your own rules.

This post was created in partnership with SK-II.


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